Aftermath
by kaibasgirlx
Summary: Post SS. A recovering Ukitake laments his pathetic role in saving his subordinates.


**Aftermath**

"That was quite reckless of you."

Ukitake gave a slight chuckle despite himself, as Unohana healed the wounds inflicted by Ryuujin Jakka.

"You didn't expect me to simply stand by as one of my own division members was executed, did you?"

"No, but destroying the Sokokyou?" Unohana's voice carried a chiding note in it. "It's lucky Yamamoto hadn't killed you."

Ukitake shook his head, the smile on his face one tinged with bitterness. It was only a couple of hours after Aizen's betrayal, and Seireitei was still in the midst of recovering from the loss of its three captains. Despite being extremely busy with the influx of patience, the result of the many battles that had rocked Soul Society to its core, Unohana still graciously made time for him so he could get his wounds healed, though they weren't by far as serious as some of the casualties.

"Can't say there was anything else I could have done on such short notice."

They fell silent, as Unohana began to dress the wound on his shoulder. Out of all the captains, Ukitake had been one of the hardest hit with Aizen's betrayal. Rukia was not simply another member of the 13th Division. Actually, no one was simply a member of Ukitake's division. He was a kind and caring man who took interest in the welfare of his subordinates and those around him greatly. If anyone needed a listening ear, or a shoulder to cry on, Ukitake was the ticket. His door was always open, to whosoever needed to pass over its threshold.

"We haven't had excitement like this in quite a while," he continued darkly, as she finished wrapping the bandages and moved onto another cut.

"No, it's been a long time since Seireitei has been in this much chaos," she agreed quietly.

Ukitake let out a weary sigh. It was a different sort of sigh, one not brought about by exhaustion, but by a certain sense of defeat. "At any rate," he said somberly. "I didn't even make it in time. It was that ryoka boy, Ichigo, who saved Rukia."

Unohana paused for a moment, sensing his angst. She waited for him to continue.

"If he hadn't been there, Rukia would have been executed, just as Aizen had planned. And even saving her wasn't enough. Aizen still managed to get his hands on the hogokyou, while I remained standing uselessly on the side."

"There was nothing you could do," Unohana pointed out. "You were fighting Yamamoto, there was nothing anyone could have done. Aizen played his cards well, he knew what everyone's reactions would be, and timed everything perfectly to coincide with that."

Ukitake shook his head, her words bearing little comfort. Unohana could remember only one other time he'd ever looked so completely and utterly defeated. The night his vice-captain, Shiba Kaien, had died.

They had both come straight to the 4th Division to be healed. Ukitake had stayed strong for Rukia's sake, as the young Kuchiki girl had been completely traumatized. It was only a few nights later, when she'd come to his quarters because of his illness, that he'd recounted for her the tale.

_"Rukia had wanted to interfere, she begged me to let her," he said, as he finished telling her the whole story. He clenched the teacup in his hand so tight, it looked like it would break. "But I stopped her. I told her it was a battle for his pride, and she couldn't interfere. You should have seen the look on her face...she asked me what was pride compared to a precious life."_

_He stared down at his reflection for a moment in disgust. "Was I wrong? Twice she nearly disobeyed my orders, but I refused her. I ordered her to stand down, and look where it got us." He set the cup down forecfully on the table, as he held his head between his hands. "By the time we entered the battle, it was too late. The hollow had fused with his body, and Rukia she...she ended up driving her sword straight through Kaien's chest. I...can only imagine the nightmares she has whenever she sleeps at night."_

_He finally looked up at her with pain-filled eyes. "Where do I stand, Retsu, where do I stand?" His voice was filled wtih bitterness and grief. "A captain who couldn't even protect his own subordinates!"_

The conversation came back to her now, as she watched him on the edge of breaking down again.

"That ryoka boy, Ichigo, he knew his priorities straight. He saved Rukia, almost dying in the process. He put his life on the line for her, not me."

Unohana laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Juushiro..."

"What kind of a captain am I?" He gesticulated with his hands. "I couldn't protect my subordinates then, and I couldn't protect them now. Should some new enemy arise to threaten them, will I still only be able to watch helplessly from the sidelines as everything we've worked for is destroyed?"

She didn't respond, as the 13th Division captain quietly grieved.


End file.
